One of the most crucial elements of fat loss (and maintaining that loss) is habit change. This is why 98% of the dieting population is unsuccessful at keeping that lost weight off. It is well documented that only 2% of dieters will be able to maintain that loss for longer than two years.
Here’s why – HABIT CHANGE IS HARD.
It’s so hard that no one wants to do it. Everyone is seeking the quick fix and the path of least resistance. Well, I’ve been in the business of weight loss as a clinician as well as a consumer for a long time and I can tell you with absolute certainty that the process of habit change is an intensely personal one and not very many people are prepared for the vulnerability required to explore their habits in order to change them. So, when they leave the structure of a coaching environment or stop engaging in the activities they were engaging in to lose the weight in the first place, they go back to their old habits because there was simply no effort to modify their thought process long term. Sound familiar?
We have a client currently, who has been back and forth with us over the past few years and each time she rocked the process until she encountered her point of resistance. At that point, further effort felt too big, too hard, and too emotionally uncomfortable. Upon my recommendation, this client made the HUGE step of reaching out to a wonderful and nurturing therapist many of our clients have experienced success with. One of the pieces she is working on right now is reconciling a toxic relationship that has marked her in such a profound way that it has become her weight loss obstacle. Part of reconciling that piece is acknowledging the emotional reaction rather than “response” to stress/anxiety/emotional discomfort that leads her to abandon herself, and with her, her goals, needs, dreams, and autonomy.
With her permission, I am sharing the email she sent me this weekend with her weekly check-in. I am sharing this with you because it so beautifully illustrates the struggle SO VERY MANY women face on this journey. I am intensely proud of her.
I am writing to you. I am making a conscious effort to force my self to sit in the moment. You’re right, I can not change me while my hurt/in pain little girl is seeking unconditional love and self-worth from someone who is unable to give it. I need my self worth to come from me. To remember that the numbers on the scale or on my clothes do not tell my story, the dedicated teacher, loving mom, strong, resilient, kindhearted, bad-ass woman is who I am. I also can not change anything if I am not willing to look it in the face, whether it be tracking everything that goes in my mouth or my history. I need to figure out how to strap the little girl in the car seat behind me and reassure her, that I’ve got this and that she is loved and worth so much more. I have to learn to love myself, to be proud of what I survived and allow the past to stay in the past. It will not happen overnight (it has taken me 20 years to get to a point of willingness/ready to deal) or in the next year, but I will not get anywhere if I keep avoiding. I have to get back in the driver seat, breathe and start driving through this shit storm of emotions and deal with my own bullshit.
The year [client] took her power back
Step 2: Eat only the planned fucking meals
This is the essence of a Musclebound Mama.