Meeting Yourself Where You Are

Meeting Yourself Where You Are

One of the components of my job I love most is helping women see their relationship with food and how it colours their choices every single day. It’s fair to say that in a country where 60% of the population is overweight or obese, most of us have a challenging relationship with food. These cognitive distortions that influence our relationship with food aren’t isolated to how we look at food. They’re very broadly coloured over most aspects of our life.


One of the most common traps I see women fall into is the cognitive distortion of Catastrophizing. Their food logs were planned but they had one extra cookie that didn’t fit their plan so obviously the entire day was ruined and they are horrible at dieting and are going to be overweight forever so they’ll eat everything in sight. Sound familiar? I know. I used to be here, too.


When these events happen, because these women feel they’ve ruined everything, they don’t send their weekly check-in to their coach (me!). They don’t want to face their decision and their presumed “truth” about the fallout. I can appreciate it’s hard to check-in when we’re struggling but this is exactly when it’s most important that we do! It’s kind of like not going to the doctor when you’re in pain. When we ignore pain we find ourselves in greater distress, don’t we?


This is an exercise from a client’s check-in recently where she said she wasn’t technically checking in because it wasn’t a good week. She made a comment in her email that I highlighted and asked her to reflect on. She said: “I literally threw my hands in the air for this one and didn’t log and hated myself for it after.”


Have you ever felt this way? Yeah, you have! We all have. I invited her to look at this from a different perspective with me for a moment to see if she might feel differently. Maybe you can take this journey with me, too. Who knows, maybe this post made it into your timeline at just the right moment!


I wonder if this might feel different if rather than “throwing your hands up”, “not logging” and “hating yourself”, you instead decided to say “I”m really good at this – I have been working so hard and I know this process. I have complete faith in my ability based on the fact that I got HERE from where I was. Logging is going to be tricky this weekend because of our social events and since I’m really good at this, I’m going to meet myself where I am right now and give myself permission to just be for (this period of time) and begin planning/logging again (on this date).


What I think might happen is that you’ve reiterated your faith in self, your competence in your knowledge and ability, you’ve recognized this will be a challenge and that you would benefit from the emotional breathing room – and so you’re unlikely to just set the car on fire because you’re not restrained, doing anything wrong, or “being bad”. You’re just “being“.
We always have the option to pick right back up again – which we all have – but the self-deprecation and self-loathing in the meantime is the piece that erodes our competence and makes it impossible to make decisions that align with our goals and values. It undermines our abilities. You are SO able.
So, if you haven’t checked-in for a while, maybe this is what you needed. <3